As you know, this year has been a challenging one for me. It started with an onset of panic attacks back in January, which led to me losing my job. The next 7 months were up and down. My relationship with Eric came to an end in July, which broke my heart. I thought I had hit rock bottom and then I fell even further, ultimately landing myself in the hospital in the beginning of August. After changing medications and going through electroshock treatments, I was finally beginning to see some hope again, hope that I could get better.
My memory was severely affected by my ECT treatments and I wasn’t remembering much of anything for quite some time. I couldn’t remember my break up. I couldn’t remember the two weeks before I overdosed. I couldn’t remember my time in the hospital. I couldn’t remember my cousin’s bridal shower. It was the end of September when I felt like I was really beginning to retain new memories. Since then, my memory has only improved, although there are still things I come across that I don’t remember.
The last couple months I’ve continued my counseling and am still adjusting medications but I feel alive again. I feel more alive, more like myself now than I have ever before. I would have never have been able to get to where I am today if it hadn’t been for you all. You all have given me support in so many different ways and have been there for me through everything. I know I can always count on you if I’m going through a tough time.
Mom… Dad… Hannah… there is no way I would be here today if it weren’t for you three. You have been my backbone when I had none; you have been a shoulder for me to cry on when I feel like there’s no hope. You’ve kept a roof over my head. You’ve helped incredibly with finances, allowing me to get the care I needed and still do need. You guys are my rock and without you, I wouldn’t be here today. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve done.
Sandi & Megan – you guys brining Brielle into the hospital to see me, was so incredible. Those are the visits I actually remember the most. Seeing baby Brielle brought a smile to my heart. You have no idea how much that smile truly helped me get better. So I thank you for that.
Grandma, you have been there for me through so much. I know you were praying for me to get better and God answered your prayers and truly helped me recover. I love how much closer we have become. I enjoy our lunch dates (when they don’t involve Fire trucks and Ambulances). I am thankful to have such a wonderful Grandma in you.
Court & Adam – I love the Angel of Healing & the beautiful scarf. The angel is near my bed and reminds me where I was and how far I’ve come. You guys were both always there for me, just a text or a phone call away. Thank you.
You have all had such an impact on my healing. The love I’ve received was so much more than I could’ve imagined. I just want to tell you all Thank You from the bottom of my heart. I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am to have such a wonderful family and group of friends. You have all saved my life and helped get me back on my feet. I wouldn’t be where I am at today if I didn’t have you. So… Thank you, thank you, thank you… I love you all!
You're very very welcome. Although I feel weird saying that, because I don't expect a thank you. It was a difficult, sad, and stressful time going through it all, but looking at where you are today...I'd do it all again. You have grown so much. And you still are. I am amazed and so grateful for your bravery, your determination to take charge of your life and accept help. I'm just so proud of you. There was never a question in my mind that God had big plans for you, but you had to hit rock bottom to see that for yourself. Just remember that trials, struggles, and heartbreaks are just cobblestones that we have to trip over and learn to pick ourselves back up. We learn from each challenge and we become stronger and better from those tough times. Keep the faith and believe, in yourself...and God. Wake up at say "thank you" each day. xxoo
ReplyDelete