an inspiration...

I got to thinking today, who are people that inspire me in my life? Do they inspire me each time I see them or just on occasion? Do they raise my bar when it comes to my hopes and my dreams? I am not sure... I guess each person who I consider inspiring is inspirational in their own way. What about you? Who inspires you? How do they inspire you? When?

I think my inspiration comes from many places, not just people. My parents inspire me in more ways than I could ever put into words. Art, music, dance, & nature is all inspirational to me. My friends are each inspiring to me in different ways; their caring nature, their smarts, their optimism, their love, being trustworthy, all around good people. If I stop and think of my friends who do inspire me, those friends are the ones I hold closest to my heart. They each bring something different to the table, something I might need some help with or something I'm lacking.

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could be like your friend in one way or more? I do. I find myself wishing that I could be more like each of my friends in one way or another. Since we can't just steal away at our friends, we just become inspired by them. We try to make changes in our own life's to better reflect our friends. We take the inspiration and use it to grow. Our friends help mold us into the person we've become. They spark interest in things you'd never thought much about before. Where would we be without our friends, our inspirations?

I babysat today for three beautiful little ladies, Kendall (12 y/o), Kolbi (8 y/o), and Macie (19mos). It was a beautiful afternoon and Macie was napping. Kendall and Kolbi were making horse blankets for their plastic play horses. Kendall had cut them out and her and Kolbi were painting them. I grabbed a couple of blank sheets of paper and painted Kendall's name with a heart, then painted a sea monster next. Kolbi told me it was the cutest sea monster she's ever seen! It was a fun day with those two.

After Macie woke up, we all went down to the park. Kendall & Kolbie rode bikes and I pushed Macie in the stroller. We were getting ready to leave and Kolbi's mom had just gotten home. Kolbi told her mom that "Lindsay is sooo pretty" I smiled and said she's such a sweetheart! This isn't the first time Kolbi has told me how pretty I am... And it still makes me smile every time.

We made it to the park and had a good time there, Kendall and Kolbi always shouting my name to watch them do something out of the ordinary. It was pretty cute and flattering to be in such high demand.

As we were walking back from the park this afternoon I got to thinking. These kids all really like me. They look up to me as if I were their big sister they want to grow up and be like. I've never really had this connection or feeling with someone else's child. It's exciting that they get excited to see me, excited to share stories with me, ask me random questions... It's just really a great feeling to feel like I could be their inspiration.

Knowing that you're an inspiration to someone else is a wonderful feeling. Make sure to do something or say something to let your friends or family know that they inspire you. They will love to hear it!

a little catch up...

Wow! It's hard to believe it's been since September that I've written... I guess I have more catching up to do than I thought. I will try to be brief and sum everything up somewhat quickly (cause those who really know me, know I take forever to tell any story ~ I get this from my dad). Not sure where to start... but I guess we'll go back to September. 

I started my new job and everything went really well up until I started having panic attacks from anxiety. I ended up losing my job shortly after the attacks started. Losing my job didn't help with the anxiety, in fact it made things worse. I was set to lose my insurance and that caused a whole new set of concern. How was I supposed to get the help I needed when I had about two weeks before I had to start paying an arm and a leg for insurance? I had no choice and I am very thankful to have the support system I do. My parents have been wonderful through everything and I couldn't of gotten through this without them. I also had amazing support coming out my ears from my boyfriend, family and friends. I can never express how thankful I am to everyone that reached out to me during the hard times... thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So I think that brings us up to more of the current day. I have been working on myself everyday and I feel the best I've ever felt. I have had the time to strengthen so many of my relationships with my family and friends. I have gained an amazing new best friend... I think you know who you are. ;) Needless to say, things have really been going good. 

The reason I'm writing this, isn't for any sort of attention. I want to bring to more people's attention that anxiety and depression isn't something to be ashamed of. Odds are, you are surrounded by at least one person who has dealt with anxiety, depression or both at one point in time, or that deals with it on a regular basis. It is nothing that is 'wrong' and it's not a sign of weakness. If anything, I think admitting it shows strength. I want to be a source for those who have questions. I want to be able to use what I've been through to help others. I don't want people to be treated any different because of it. I felt like people were tip-toeing around me after everything happened and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that people who are dealing with anxiety and depression do not want to be treated any differently that any other 'normal' person. So please, if you don't understand it, please be considerate, ask me questions. Please don't discriminate against people who deal with it directly or indirectly. Please open up your mind and try to be the friend that they need in that very moment of struggle. 

I think that's all for now, but I will try to be much better about writing and keeping updated. I enjoy writing as an outlet no matter how many people actually read this. Hope everyone is doing well and I hope I can make a difference. Please help me to do so...