A good friend of mine posted a quote for me on his facebook page yesterday...
"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."
~Vincent van Gogh
My friend is a smart man! Unfortunately for me I had already reacted on impulse but fortunately I feel like no damage was done. I feel at I'm at a better place overall with the way things are happening now. I've decided that I let peoples opinions, questions and overall ideas consume my thoughts, especially if they are negative. One day, I am happy with the way things are going and one situation later, things almost turn upside down. I know that my family & friends have the best of intentions but my brain seems to run with these negative opinions, ideas and thoughts. I know that I am an over thinker naturally and decided last night that dating gives me some anxiety. I just don't like the fact of not knowing. I'm a very upfront, verbal person... often too verbal I guess. I feel like my feelings and what I want are always expressed in one form or another. I feel I'm pretty black and white in life and I just know what I want. The grey areas do make me nervous at times, especially when dating. I just want to know how you're feeling and what your intentions are up front I guess.
Yesterday I opened my mouth and ran with my thoughts. Next time I get to feeling uneasy about something that involves someone else, especially someone I'm interested in... I'm going to bite my tongue for just a little while, see if it passes or not. Then if it doesn't, then I will talk to them in person! (Right Wade?!) I am making it a personal goal to improve myself and my relationships to not act on impulse with my thoughts and emotions. I think this will work out better for me. I am also going to respect advice that's given to me but also allow myself to form my own opinions. I am not going to share as much about my doubts with other people. We all tend to talk about the negative things we feel and not the positives which is unfortunate because most of the time, the positives outweigh the negatives.
Life isn't perfect and I get that. I will make mistakes and I will learn from everyone of them. I will still wear my heart on my sleeve in hopes that whoever gets the chance to hold it will hold it safe and close. That's just me. I can't change who I am or what I believe... I'm just trying to improve myself in ways I feel possible.
So here's to trying things a little differently... wish me luck!
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